An inconvenient truth or a reassuring lie – what would you choose?

Vorige week bereikte deze getuigenis ons. Het is een harde doch eerlijke getuigenis die nagels op de kop slaat.


Stories from Donor Conceived

I don’t want to meet him, sorry.

This may be strange to hear but I don’t want to meet my donor, I’ve traveled the interwebs looking for other donor offspring who are oppose to this practice, and are demanding justice and change. My search has led me here.

I have my reasons for never wanting to know my father. Anyone who willingly degrades women to sexual objectification in pornography, willingly disowns the children he doesn’t personally want, willingly impregnates multiple strangers, has these people raise his biological children, and never once in his life checks in to see if his kids are healthy, happy, alive, is not worth my time looking for. This person is the most atrocious and loathing human male on the planet, and the issue is that he thinks he has just done a service to humanity. We have enough men who abandon and disown their children, it’s called ‘deadbeat fatherhood’. Just because you were paid doesn’t mean you’re a hero. You’re still a monster.

I’m not here to depreciate any donor offspring personal search for the dummy who abandon them. Origins are important to many people, and I completely understand that. This entry is just about me.

If I stand alone here, so be it, but I want it abolished. There is absolutely nothing to gain from reproductive technologies, besides ‘happy customers’. But sometimes not even happiness to the customers is guaranteed, social parents can and have demanded refunds from the companies that manufactured their children because their children did not turn out how they paid for them to. The gamete banks depict posters of smiling children but more importantly they caption these words at the bottom of their posters: “have the family of your dreams!”. So what are these companies doing? They’re advertising children to couples. How on earth is this ethical? A donor can have well over two hundred offspring being raised by strangers around his area. He could easily date and have sex with his own daughter. More importantly these offspring could end up having sex with one another, without knowledge. This makes sperm donning a public health issue. Not only this, but as other victims of this unregulated practice have already expressed, our fathers and mothers are treated like breeding studs, their gametes are treated like ‘raw material’, our conception is manufactured in a laboratory, and our life was ultimately paid for with cash money. We are chattel, and the companies know this so they try their hardest to sugar code the truth, and promote their lies in media, so that people will not get concern. If you’re getting paid, you’re not donning, you’re selling. If you’re being selected from a cataloger, you’re not ‘helping a couple’, you’re advertising your DNA, like a breeding animal. And children should never be ‘wanted’. We should only want material objects. The love of a parent should never be measured on how much that parent spent buying the children themselves. That is completely disgusting and disturbing.

The donor sibling registry is not anyone’s saving grace. It’s a terrible attempt to normalize this dehumanizing business. Why is it ok for you to purposely separate your children from their biological parents, then play the hero who ‘found’ the long lost siblings online, when you had partook in separating them from one another in the first place? Why is it ok to put your kids through the psychological torture of searching desperately for their missing families, of who they may never completely find because there could be many more siblings that aren’t on the sibling registry, just so you can get the family you want? Do you realize that there are many kids who couldn’t find their family on this website who are still on the search?

I am more disgusted on how I was ‘made’ than never knowing the idiot who partook in this human trafficking. I never wish to know him, I don’t thank him for giving me life, I don’t appreciate how he help delude my social parents into thinking they both created me, so they can feel better about their infertility. I don’t appreciate him lying to them and telling them he gave them treatment for their infertility, when all he did was use them for the spread his descendants, while never having to take care of those descendants.

If you think I should be praising these reproductive technologies for giving me life, you’re not in your right mind. With that understanding, I should be down at the feet of my mother’s rapist, if my mother had been rapped by my father, praising him for raping my mother, thus giving me life. It simply doesn’t work the way people think.

Signed, a donor kid, not on the search
Date submitted: April 04, 2014

Deze getuigenis is een rechtstreeks gevolg van een beleid dat een brug te ver sprong toen ze artsen en centra groen licht gaven om zoveel mogelijk kinderwensen in te vullen.

Na 60 jaar wordt nog steeds dezelfde korte termijn visie gehanteerd en oogkleppen worden uitgedeeld. Niet alleen worden de belangen van het donorkind geminimaliseerd, transparantie ontbreekt, implicaties bij zulke gevormde gezinnen worden onderschat, gebrek aan ondersteuning,  het donorregister ontbreekt nog steeds, …

Vergis je niet: fertiliteitbehandelingen met donormateriaal zijn een money making business. Eentje dat teert op de wanhoop en verlangen van wensouders. In elk centrum of ziekenhuis zal je dezelfde posters zien hangen: eentje van een lachende baby. Als een wortel die je wordt voorgehouden in de hoop niet met lege handen naar huis te keren.

Zo heb je bijvoorbeeld de website van de Cryo bank waarbij de marketeers creatief omgingen met het winkelwagentje.


In de plaats van enkel de invulling van een kinderwens te propaganderen, hoort de regering, artsen en centra op een eerlijke, transparante en ondersteunende manier een beleid uit te werken die de belangen van alle betrokken partijen erkend en toekent.

Deze generatie doorprikt de geruststellende vertelsels en opteert voor de waarheid, hoe ongemakkelijk deze is.


Donorkinderen België

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