A couple of weeks ago I reached out to donor conceived from all over the world asking if there is a song or songs that reflect their own feelings about being donor conceived (positive or negative).
We got a lot of response. We want to share these songs and the reasons why they mean so much for the person who submitted it, with you.
Maybe these songs can help other donor conceived. But it can even offer an insight for those who aren’t directly related to our topic, offering them a broader perspective in how we feel and deal with being donor conceived.
If you want to submit a song, feel free to contact us through firstname.lastname@example.org.
“This is the song I listened to on my Walkman (I’m old school) as I walked around a local cemetery while I was coming to grips with deciding whether or not to contact one of my half brother’s (my father’s youngest social/bio son). My recently (at the time) deceased father’s words kept circling in my head – “Sometimes we never get to the Truth until a revelation in the hereafter” – Karen, USA
“What I like most are these phrases in the song:
I don’t have to be anyone other,
than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I’m going, is knowing where I’m coming from
I’m tired of looking ‘round rooms
Wondering what I’ve got to do
Or who I’m supposed to be
The song reminds me of my own search for my roots, of how I scan people’s faces and look for my family, but it is also about being lied to, finding out the truth, struggling with my identity” – Monique, The Netherlands
“This is my answer to sperm banks all over the world who refuse to inform donor-conceived people about their donors. Growing up as a donor conceived I also started looking for my donor, currently proceeding against the sperm bank ordered a DNA test and also started an online search in addition. If you live in or close to Germany it would mean the world to me if you could share my announcement video on social network.” – Kevin, Germany
“This song reminds me of my long search, the obstacles, the dirt I digged up about the industry, the fight and my own private investigation in tracking down my biological father/donor.” – Steph, Belgium
“I actually asked Alana to write that song for me based on my story (“When The Children Grow Up” – the part of my story that I’m public about) that was published in a book Behind Closed Doors: Moving Beyond Secrecy and Shame. – K, USA
“I picked this song because yes it does reflect my experience as well as my attitude towards my family situation and being donor conceived. It shows people around the world who don’t have everything in life but they are happy. They are making the best out of life” – J.C., USA
“Although the most socially legitimate loss we can name is our medical history and ethnicity….my greatest wish is to look my father in the eyes. Eric Clapton didn’t get to do this and eloquently expresses the impact of this on forming an identity…. My foundations r made of clay.” Jo Rose, UK
“For me, finding out I was donor conceived at 27 and then loosing my mom to cancer a year later was extremely difficult. Only after finding my half-siblings and biological father did I realize what a gift this whole situation really was. My trials are my friends 🙂 ” – Daniel, USA
“I kind of think of my donor conception when I hear All American Rejects-Dirty Little Secret. And the reason why is because my parents never told me that I was donor conceived and never intended to. I found out elsewhere at 22. So it’s kind of felt like a dirty little secret for me.” – Michelle, USA
“For me the key is knowing as DC to be DC and to have the book from the doctor of my clinic. For others it may be the option to have contact with their donor/biological parent.” – Menno, The Netherlands
“This song reminds me of all the nice people I met, stories we shared, strengthening my soul to persue the goal of making a change for others. We donor conceived are maybe not all biologically related but I feel a connection with many of you. Some of you do feel like family ❤ ” Steph, Belgium
“The song smoke and mirrors is about the pressure we r placed under to accept and not verbalise our loss of either a mother or father or both and all accociated kin. The money, deception and pressure….” – Jo Rose, UK
“For me this song really gets into some of my journey to discover who I am as well as my emotions on trying to overcome my biology and become something individual and strong. I have always been afraid of being bound by my biology and genetics, both known and unknown so I listen to this song and it helps a bit with that.” – English translation of the song B., – USA
“The first time I heard/saw the movie (it was with my young children), it stopped my world turning for a moment and made me cry. Till this day this song moves me every time.”
We created the Spotify playlist Donor Conceived (1) containing the submitted songs that we could find online.
Hope you like our initiative.